The Monday Minute, February 11th, 2008

A Monday Minute on a Monday! Wonders never cease, do they? Seriously, thanks for your flexibility during my travels et al and being willing to read these posts when they come on other days. We went to Nashville last week for William's birthday (for those who don't know me, William is my husband) and to meet with some music people about one of his movies. I admire him so much: he has written three beautiful films and although the movie business seems to be fraught with peril and setbacks, he is staying true to his vision and I know he's going to make it. We also caught up with friends there including singer/songwriter Georgia Middleman, author Candy Paull, The Joy of Simplicity I Didn't Know That: Or Why We Say the Things We Say author Karlen Evans (I was a guest on her radio show, "Beyond Reason"), and healer/astrologer Rosemary Cathcart. And of course we did the tourist things like The Opry at the Ryman and the music bars on Broadway. One of the bands actually played my request, "Rhinestone Cowboy," after the lead singer commented, "Man, that's old." Cheers, Victoria What is it with "Rhinestone Cowboy"? ... Well, I decided that it's my theme song. For those of you who aren't "old," it was a Glenn Campbell's seminal hit from 1975. I hadn't thought of it in years until I was packing to leave New York and the lyrics came back to me as a sort of treasure map set to music. Here they are: I've been walkin' these streets so long, Singin' the same old song. I know every crack on these dirty sidewalks of Broadway, Where hussle's the name of the game, And nice guys get washed away like the snow and the rain. There's been a load of compromisin' On the road to my horizon, But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me. (Chorus) Like a rhinestone cowboy, Ridin' out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo, Like a rhinestone cowboy, Getting' cards and letters from people I don't even know, And offers comin' over the phone. Well, I really don't mind the rain, And a smile can hide all the pain, But you're down when you're riding a train That's takin' the long way. So I dream of the things I'll do With a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe. There'll be a load of compromisin' On the road to my horizon, But I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me...(repeat chorus) Everybody needs a theme song... BeliefNet.com Blog News... Thanks to everybody who plans to read and participate in my blog on BeliefNet.com, which was supposed to have started today or a week ago. It hasn't. I'll keep you posted and send a special mailing once I know when the Charmed Life Blog goes live on BeliefNet. Question of the Week: Is your family, specifically your husband, a vegan? Did he transition his thoughts after meeting you? What is your approach to wanting your significant other to eat vegetarian? I find it hard to date/be committed to someone who is not an animal lover. What advice do you have for me and others facing this issue? - Tiffany Hi, Tiffany - Thanks for the question. My daughter is a lifelong vegan; my stepchildren eat conventionally; and my husband ate meat when I met him but became vegetarian (not vegan) after meeting me but - this is important - not because of me. He'd just never given the issue any thought; the way I live caused him to think of it. When he did, he realized he didn't want to eat meat anymore. I think that's the key: people do what they want to do. When something speaks to a person, he or she changes in response to that. If it doesn't, no amount of nagging and pleading and "educating" are unlikely to do much except turn the person off. For someone (and I quote you) "wanting your significant other to eat vegetarian," I suggest looking for someone who is already vegetarian. Meet them through online veggie-dating services, vegetarian group meetings or conferences, etc. Otherwise, look to make friends of all persuasions and see if your lifestyle awakens the same spark in someone else. If you're already in a relationship, take care of yourself, and love and appreciate the other person. That is, take care of yourself by eating and living in accordance with your highest light, and refusing to do anything that is ethically or esthetically repugnant to you. AND let the other person live his life, too, without criticism. Maybe he'll change and maybe he won't, but if you focus on what you love about him, you'll both be a lot happier. Adair's amazing play... My daughter Adair is a young actress, and her most powerful roles to date have been in Holocaust dramas. She played Anne in The Diary of Anne Frank, Eva in Kindertransport, and she has now been cast in an NYC showcase of Who Will Tell the Story? It's based on the true story of women in an Auschwitz barrack who committed to doing all they could to save the life of one of them, the one they believed could best tell the story. She did survive and wrote this play. It's a two-week run starting February 22. There is more on Adair's site; click on "Current Projects." A tiny, beautiful film... Filmmaker Monica Sharf has an exquisite 5-minute tribute to the troops serving overseas in "While We Lie Sleeping." It was a selection of the LA Film Festival and will be screening in New York City tomorrow, Tuesday, February 12, 6 pm (promptly -- it's the first film in the "Filmmakers at War" showcase) at Anthology Film Archives, 32 Second Avenue. For those of you not near New York, you can view this 16mm black and white silent short online. Where to Find Me: I'm in writing mode at the moment and not doing a whole lot of speaking, but I'll be here and there and would love to have you join me... Radio: www.healthylife.net - Wed., Feb. 27, noon Eastern - guest: Richard Blackstone, author of Nuts and Bolts Spirituality (will be archived for later listening) Talk/book signing: Fat, Broke & Lonely No More, Barnes & Noble, Rt. 9-W, Kingston, NY - 6 p.m., Thursday, February 28. Click here for more info. New Age Health Club, Neversink, NY: Friday February 29- Monday March 3, speaking on Creating a Charmed Life and Younger by the Day. Click here for more info. Radio: www.healthylife.net - Wed. March 26, noon Eastern - guest: Jerrold Mundis, author of How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously (will be archived for later listening)

Take care, and all good things - Victoria

Hello, charmed ones -

I hope this finds your life getting better and better, inside and out. I have some wonderful things going on (more below) and I've decided to package this year in the country as an extended retreat. Yesterday I went to a Vedanta Society retreat house in Stone Ridge, NY (www.ridgely.org) for a daylong meditation retreat. It taught me that I need to do more back strengthening exercises (I know that hatha yoga, the physical postures, was developed to help people sit for long periods of meditation; now I know why) and it reminded me how sweet such an intense meditation can be. While in meditation there, I got the insight that the successful seminar I've been doing for the Learning Annex in NYC, "How to Live a More Spiritual Life," needs to offered more places and as a teleclass as well as an in-person event. If you'd be interested in a teleclass like that, let Joya know (drop her a quick email at charmedassistant@aol.com) and if we get enough response, we'll plan a class for late February or early March.

It's still hard for me to be away from my beloved Manhattan. In order to write the new book, I drive to Kingston, a larger place, to write in a coffee shop. That more urban energy helps me a lot. However, I recently remember something someone told me a long time ago - I was twenty at the time. I was in a job that had become oppressive and she told me that as long as I hated it and desperately wanted to quit, I'd never be able to. I argued that I could just plain give notice and she told me, "You could, but you'd meet this job again, or everything you dislike about it, at another time with only the names and faces changed."

I'm using that wisdom again now. It is pretty obvious that I come alive in New York City and pretty much wilt out here in the mountains. In human terms, it may have been a gargantuan mistake to have embarked on this adventure at all. But I am convinced that the Higher Power is expert at making lemonade out of even the sourest lemons. My job is to be happy today and look for the good. Were you around for the 60s slogan, a sort of counter to the counter-culture, "America: love it or leave it"? For me today, it's "Woodstock (or whatever situation I'd like to be different): love it so you can leave it."

All good things, Victoria

A blog in the big time!... Well, let's hope. My most exciting professional news of the moment is that www.beliefnet.com will be running "The Charmed Life Blog" by me for one week beginning February 4 or 11 (I'll let you know which) as an "audition" for being a permanent blogger for their huge and wonderful site. I'll be posting more than once a day (that'll be new and different) and doing my best to help charm the day for all readers. If it gets lots and lots and lots of traffic, they'll keep me on, which would be a dream come true. If you'd like to help (and read a good blog in the process!), please visit beliefnet.com frequently once the blog goes up and going to "The Charmed Life Blog." There will be ways for you to comment, add your thoughts, and be a part of it. In fact, I would be thrilled if you would: the more participation, the more likely it will go permanent. (If I become an official BeliefNet blogger, that's where my blog will be, but it will not affect The Charmed Monday Minute one bit. This newsletter will show up in your mailbox every other Monday, or as close to every other Monday as Joya and I can get it out, just the way we have been doing it.) Quotation of the week: "There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy." - Robert Louis Stevenso

Recipe of the week - This quick, yummy dip comes from my favorite source of nutrition information, Nutrition Action, the excellent newsletter of Center for Science in the Public Interest (www.cspinet.org): Puree in food processor: One 15-ounce canned Great Northern, navy, or other white beans, drained and rinsed 2 Tbls. extra virgin olive oil 1 clove garlic A squeeze of fresh lemon juice Free clicks to help animals... Mary Max, the wife of noted artist Peter Max and a great force for a kinder world, sent this info about a free, easy way to help those who can't help themselves, and, if you like, you can offer this help daily, always without charge, by simply clicking on the following links: http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/home (every click provides a bowl of food-at no cost to you-to animals in need) - "Thanks to people who click on The Animal Rescue Site, we are able to buy food and medical care for the rescued animals at the Cleveland Amory Black Beauty Ranch. It's critical support in our work to shelter abused and abandoned animals," says Mike Markarain, Senior V.P. of The Humane Society of the United States (HSUS). http://www.care2.com/go/z/primates (every click provides food for primates) http://pets.care2.com/ (helps needy pets with free surgeries and other health care) http://babyseals.care2.com/welcome?w=200015762 (helps protect baby seals from the cruel and senseless hunt subsidized by the Canadian government)

Question of the week: "Could you give me a sample of your food plan? I'm having a confusing time trying to decide what type of vegetarian food plan to chose. I'm already a vegetarian, so that's not the problem. The problem is I can't decide on whether or not to give up eggs and milk products. It makes like just a little more complicated, but if it's worth it, I'll certainly adjust. Do you do 3 meals a day with nothing in between, or do you allow snacks? It seems hard to keep it simple when you are vegan--there is a whole lot more cooking and preparation involved working with whole foods." - Lana, Iowa As I read your questions, I was noting some phrases I don't think in terms of anymore. I don't really feel that I have a "food plan" although I suppose I do, nor do I think in terms of "allowing" snacks or anything else, since that seems more authoritarian than I like being with myself. I also chuckled about "a whole lot more cooking and preparation." I don't think of myself as cooking very much at all, although I enjoy it when I do. To answer you, then, as best I can, let me say this: I basically eat three meals a day. Occasionally (maybe once or twice in a week), I'll have something - a piece of fruit, a whole-grain cookie, half a Luna bar -- at tea time in the afternoon if I'm feeling especially droopy. (In Ayurvedic medicine, three meals a day are recommended, with the caveat that someone with a Vata constitution, my type, can do better sometimes with a little something in the mid-afternoon.) I know a lot of systems recommend snacking or mini-meals throughout the day, but for someone like me, that puts too much emphasis on food. I also find that my digestion works better when there is time in between meals with nothing extra to tax the apparatus. For breakfast, if I'm home, I often have an oatmeal parfait or a soy yogurt parfait. That means I have the oatmeal or the yogurt and top it with fruits, slivered almonds or chopped walnuts, a little flax oil, and some toasted wheat germ. I might substitute Van's frozen wheat-free waffles, again with some fruit and chopped nuts and little flax oil, plus a little agave nectar or real maple syrup. I always drink black tea in the morning, with some Rice Dream (an alternative to cow's milk and soy milk). In warm weather, I might make a smoothie instead: soy milk or Rice Dream, fruit, protein powder, flax oil, wheat germ. When I'm in writing mode and work all morning in a café, or if I'm in the city at a Starbucks I have a grande soy chai tea, no water, no foam. It is rich---definitely a meal and not a drink---and I find it quite a satisfying breakfast with nothing else. (It does contain sugar, which I know a lot of people avoid entirely.) Lunch is often soup (lentil, split pea, tomato, carrot-ginger, and potato-corn chowder are among my favorites) with maybe a spelt English muffin and hummus, some raw veggies, and a piece of fruit, or I heat up leftovers from dinner. I never like to keep leftovers any longer than this, or there's no life force left in them. In summer, I'll have salad instead of soup, but it's a big salad and I'll add garbanzos or other beans, sunflower seeds, and some steamed or roasted veggies so it is a meal that will last until dinner. I use an olive oil & vinegar dressing like Paul Newman's. In the best of possible worlds, the midday meal would be the main one, but for us working folk, that's difficult, so I do have a heavier dinner than is probably ideal, but I have scaled back on my dinner amounts somewhat and feel better because of it. In any case, I make sure to eat early, ideally 6:30, no later than 7. We'll have some kind of entrée - my husband's favorites are chili, veggie-burgers, and pasta (I usually choose a wheat-free pasta) with marinara sauce and vegetables - and a salad. Sometimes I make a "breakfast-dinner" and serve scrambled tofu, veggie-Canadian-bacon, toast or English muffins, and sliced tomatoes (when they're in season) or grilled onions. Once a week or so, I'll do something creative and actually use a cookbook, but this isn't the time of my life when cooking is where my creativity comes out. I keep it pretty simple. I also eat out quite a bit. Vegetarian restaurants are my favorite since the food is whole and I have a lot of choices. The Garden Café here in Woodstock makes a very satisfying Vegan Cesar Salad with a yummy tofu-based dressing and blanched slivered almonds. They also do "garden bowls" - a small entrée, some side such as roasted potatoes, and always wonderful greens. (Eating greens makes me feel on top of the world.) William loves Italian food so we go to some Italian place once a week or so. That's when I know I'll be having white-flour pasta, and I try to keep that as the only time I eat white flour or, for that matter, wheat products which don't seem to sit very well with me. Otherwise, I like Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Thai, and Ethiopian restaurants. They have lots of vegetarian entrees. When I eat out, I seem to have the same parameters as eating at home: one plate. At a place with huge portions, we might share or bring home leftovers for lunch. Everyone comes to food choices from a different place. Because I suffered so much from binge-eating and related issues for the first three decades of my life, it is very important for me to have a close relationship with the Divine on everything related to food. I need for my life to revolve around God, my family, my work, and what I came to this planet to do. Food needs to be decidedly secondary. When I let the Higher Power take care of the food, I get to do the things I'm better at. It is apparently working and I am very grateful. An amazing performer... I saw this woman in a show in Kansas City ten years ago and was so impressed that I got in touch and we've stayed connected. She'll be in NYC in March (see below). If you're elsewhere in the country, you may want to at least visit the site and see if she'll be in your area at some point. She is really remarkable, and if you have children, this is a particularly terrific show. Houston performing artist, Melissa Waddy Thibodeaux, will be opening in "The Woman They Called Moses," about Harriet Tubman and the Underground Railroad, at the Malcolm X and Dr. Betty Shabazz Memorial and Educational Center in Harlem Thursday, March 6, 2008 and running through Sunday, March 9, 2008, with nightly shows at 7 pm and Saturday and Sunday matinees at 3. For more information, please see www.aflyinggeese.com or call 713-884-9655. New Internet Radio Show: You can listen to my internet radio show on HealthyLife.net from noon to 1pm EST every 4th Wednesday of the month. The last show was wonderful, featuring my action partner and opera-singer-extraordinaire, Sherry Boone. Check it out in the archives here. (Trouble listening? Click here for the site's help page.)

Victoria, Virtual Life Coach! Victoria is now the official Life Coach of the blog "Elastic Waist" and will be featured a few times a month in exclusive interviews! To view the first post, click here. The second is here. Enjoy! OprahSelects.com: Fat, Broke & Lonely No More was picked for OprahSelects.co m since Victoria was a guest on the Jean Chatzky Show on Oprah & Friends Radio. If you go to the page, you can write a reader review if you'd like.

The Charmed Monday (this week: Fri.) Minute

Hi, everyone, and welcome to new readers -

I'm writing to you from Topeka, Kansas, en route to Olathe, a suburb of Kansas City where my mother-in-law lives. I'll be speaking this Sunday, January 13, at the Center for Spiritual Living at 39th & Terrace Sts., Kansas City, Missouri - two Sunday services, 8:30 and 11. You can get more info at cslkc.org. Know I would love to see you there if you're in this part of the world.

A quick update from me (new subscribers: the first part of The Charmed Monday Minute is a letter updating people on my life; if you're not interested in this stuff, scroll down to the "newsy" parts that follow): We're moved in up in Woodstock and the apartment is adorable. It has snowed a lot and I love that. Christmas looked like a picture postcard, even though it was obviously bittersweet for us with James's death so recent. We had Christmas with my daughter Adair, her husband Nick, and the two dogs, Aspen and Oliver. I drove back to NYC with them and stayed over a day for an ear-prompter class with TV coach Larry Conroy to prepare for my Satellite Media Tour in Atlanta December 28, which went very well.

For New Year's Eve, we drove to Albany for the "burning bowl service" (you can read about burning bowl ceremonies in my book Younger by the Day) at the Unity Church and went to dinner afterward with the minister Jim Fuller and his lovely wife Kay whose yogic presence graces the current cover of the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health magazine. Joining us was a friend of theirs who recently returned from the African country of Mali where he was with the Peace Corps for three years. This reminded me a beautiful photographic book called Material World. It takes a family with the median income for their country from many countries of the world and puts all their possessions out on the street. Mali was the poorest country chosen, but every possession the people there had was beautiful and serviceable. Once when I was complaining about money or not having something or other, my daughter, twelve at the time, said "Remember Mali." I said, "Who's Molly?" She said, "Not Molly: Mali." And I often do.

The next morning, January 1, I went to the Tibetan Buddhist monastery on Outlook Mountain in Woodstock for their First Light Peace Ceremony. It was lovely. While there, however, a blizzard blew up, and driving down the mountain my little hybrid didn't make one of the turns. I was heading straight for a tree and asked God if we could please just miss the tree. We did - by an inch. I learned later that I missed a ravine by about four feet. My neck is a little unhappy from the bump - I hit a bank of old, very hard snow - and the car will be in the shop for three weeks (our rental is a Jeep - let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...). I have to start my new year on February 7, Chinese New Year, year of the rat, most auspicious, they say. I need to stop - I'm past check-out time in this motel - so I wish you a glorious year and, more important, a glorious moment. Love and light, Victoria Book of the Week: An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love, by Richard Carlson, Ph.D., and Kristine Carlson, Hyperion, 2008. Oh my goodness, what an exquisite little book! The first half of this tiny tome is a love letter my friend and mentor the late Richard Carlson of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff fame, gave to his wife Kristine on their 18th wedding anniversary. Three years later, thirteen months ago, he died suddenly and unexpectedly at age 45. He wrote to her what he would do and say if he knew that he had but one hour to live. This is poignant, moving, and necessary reading for anyone who loves anyone on this earth. The second half of the book is Kris's response, written after Richard's death. It is such a testimony, not only to their love, but to love in general, and it was such a reminder to me to put first things first - and first things are always living things. Give this beautiful little book to yourself, and one to everybody to love.

Last call for the Learning Annex NYC!... Please be a part of my fun, exciting, and inspiring class, "How to Lead a More Spiritual Life." Topics we'll cover include the perennial philosophy, discovering the divine in daily life, the Law of Attraction (all a whole bunch of other laws!), the physical body and the spiritual life, meditation in the real world, and tolerance on this planet of diverse beliefs and ways of being. It's this Tuesday evening, 6:30 to 9:45, in midtown Manhattan. To register, visit the Learning Annex website HERE. Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens... Melinda in Cincinnati wrote to say that she'd like more coaching exercises in the Charmed Monday Minute every now and then. Just for you, Melinda, here's a seasonally appropriate exercise for more self-knowledge and self-appreciation. It's called "Playing Favorites." To do it, pretend that you're Sister Maria from The Sound of Music you ask yourself, "What is my favorite...?" and list everything you can think of in every area of life. Coming up with 100 is not excessive. Remember, these are not things you want but rather things you love. For example, you can write that your favorite city is Paris without wanting to move there (or feeling glum that you won't be moving there). This is not a wish list, but instead a getting-to-know-yourself list and coming to see how amazing and magnificent you are. Here's an example (the answers are mine and they're real): What is my favorite?... Color: Tiffany blue Thing to do: Meet Adair at a Starbucks in NYC Actor: Ed Harris Actress: Diane Keaton Season: Fall Perfume: Trish McEvoy Vanilla Musk Item of clothing: Dark blue corduroy DKNY dress Poem: "Intimations of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood," Wordsworth Restaurant: Sacred Chow, NYC Broadway show: Phantom of the Opera Movie: Auntie Mame (runners-up: Gone with the Wind, Moonstruck, The Birdcage, Forrest Gump, Gorillas in the Mist, Miracle of 34th St...) Mode of travel: Train Indulgence: The New Age Health Spa, Neversink, NY Holiday: Christmas Fiction book: The Mists of Avalon, Marion Zimmer Bradley Health book: Perfect Health, Deepak Chopra Spirituality book: The Bible (runners-up: Alcoholics Anonymous, The Games of Life & How to Play It by Florence Scovil Shinn, The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav, How to Know God, Christopher Isherwood translation, The Oxford Book of English Mystical Verse, A Most Surprising Song, by Louann Stahl) Feng shui book: Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life Dish that I cook: Vegetarian chili Okay, here's the recipe: Vegetarian Chili Note: These are approximate measures. It's never the same twice. 1 medium onion ½ pound firm tofu, drained 2-4 cloves garlic, minced 2 cans red or kidney beans 1 large can diced tomatoes 10 oz. frozen organic corn Other veggies to taste: chopped green pepper, carrots, celery (optional) Cumin, cayenne, chili powder, salt to taste Sauté onion in olive oil. When softened, add garlic and continue sautéing till done. Remove onion and garlic from skillet with slotted spoon. Cut the tofu in diced-sized squares and sauté in olive oil until cooked. Mix the onion-garlic mixture and tofu in soup pot. Add beans, tomatoes, corn, other vegetables, and seasonings to taste. Simmer to mix flavors. Serve 4. Yummy - even better the next day.

I'm on BeliefNet! I am honored and privileged to have some work of mine featured on BeliefNet.com, the premier site on the net for spirituality and religions. Here is the link to my latest piece, "10 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach." New Internet Radio Show: You can listen to my internet radio show on HealthyLife.net from noon to 1pm EST every 4th Wednesday of the month. The last show was wonderful, featuring my action partner and opera-singer-extraordinaire, Sherry Boone. Check it out in the archives here. (Trouble listening? Click here for the site's help page.)

Victoria, Virtual Life Coach! Victoria is now the official Life Coach of the blog "Elastic Waist" and will be featured a few times a month in exclusive interviews! To view the first post, click here. The second is here. Enjoy! OprahSelects.com: Fat, Broke & Lonely No More was picked for OprahSelects.co m since Victoria was a guest on the Jean Chatzky Show on Oprah & Friends Radio. If you go to the page, you can write a reader review if you'd like.

WHERE I'LL BE...

KANSAS CITY, MO: January 13, Sunday, 9 and 10:30 a.m. Sunday services, "The God-Shaped Hole," book signing to follow; Center for Spiritual Living, 1306 W. 39th St., 816/931-2395, www.cslkc.org

NEW YORK CITY: January 15, Tuesday, The Learning Annex , workshop entitled "How to Have a More Spiritual Life"

New Year's Resolutions

Many of us make resolutions for the New Year but I have found the answer to sticking to two of the most popular resolutions and even succeeding in them.

Resolution #1

Get your finances straight... Overall I think we Americans struggle most with the money piece. We're not really taught practical money management in school, and as adults we can feel intimidated by all the economic jargon and we get the idea that financial savvy really belongs to a special few. That's why getting educated about your money is so important. Capital One, for instance, has some terrific tips and resources on their website: these are easy to understand and they yet provide the information you really need to know. Here are some of their tips:

Create a spending plan – Having a spending plan is the easiest way to stay on top of your spending. Once you have a budget, remember to track all of your spending against it and review it every few months to make sure you’re sticking to it.
Save – Save as often as you can. Start by establishing a few small savings goals and incorporate them into your budget. Remember that even small amounts can add up over time.
Get a copy of your credit report. Making sure it’s accurate is one of the best ways to protect against identity theft and consumers everywhere can obtain a free annual copy by visiting www.annualcreditreport.com.

Capital One offers a host of free consumer information available at
capitalone.com/financialeducation - just click on Financial Education Partnerships.

Resolution #2

Update your look. Take some of that Christmas money and get yourself some wonderful clothes. Don't wait till to lose weight or the styles get more flattering or whatever it is that's been holding you back. You deserve to look magnificent. And if wear glasses, new ones can spice up your whole look. I'm finding LenCrafters is like a fashionista's candy store. They have some stunning new styles from Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, DKNY, Versace -- having some of these terrific glasses is a way to wear something from a designer every single day without spending a lot. It spices up your whole look -- you know, people do look at your eyes first -- and you can look at 2008 with new eyes and a new attitude."

Visit
LensCrafters.comto find out the latest trends or visit the store near you so you can start the year off right!

Resolution #3

Come closer to a vegetarian diet. For your body, the animals, and the planet, eat green. Put more fresh vegetables and fruits, satisfying whole grains, and legumes (beans, lentils, split peas, soy products) in your diet, and double the number of vegetarian entrees you enjoy each week. Here are some stats to ponder (from EarthSave International):

Number of people who could be fed using the land, water and energy that would be freed up from growing livestock feed if Americans reduced their intake of meat by 10%: 100,000,000

Activity that accounts for more than half of all water consumed for all purposes in the United States:
Livestock Production

Risk of heart attack for the average American man: 50%. Risk of death front heart attack for the average American man who consumes no meat, dairy products or eggs: 4%

Increased risk of breast cancer for women who eat meat daily compared to less than once a week: 3.8 times higher

Health status of pure vegetarians from many populations of the world according to the Food and Nutrition Board of the National Academy of Sciences: Excellent

Resolution #4

Have quiet time every morning. Nothing will change the way you see the world, your life, and yourself more than making contact every morning for ten to twenty minutes with the highest and best that's in you. Use the time for prayer, meditation, journal writing, inspirational reading or some combination. Here are some of the benefits of meditation:

More energy

Improved sleep

Decreased anxiety (meditation lowers lactate levels in the blood)

Increased concentration

Decrease in muscle tension and muscle pain, including some headaches

Supports immune system (it increases the activity of natural killer cells that attack bacteria and viruses)

Increased serotonin production which can lead to an improvement in depression

Stems overeating (this may also be a serotonin response)

Builds self-esteem

Improves quality of sleep and can be part of the treatment for insomnia

Increases alertness

Brings about happiness as an internal state not dependent on external events

A classic book for new and seasoned meditators: How to Meditate, by Lawrence LeShan

Resolution #5

Enjoy something every day. We're so serious that I see our society suffering from a great lack of joy. Oh, we have ease, and recreation, and entertainment, and diversions, but joy is different. It comes from letting your inner kid out to play. Find ways to enjoy the little things. Stop a moment of pleasure. The e-mail can wait. So can the laundry. Your heart and soul and self have been put on hold too often. Here are some of the simple joys that please the heck out of me:

Snow! Even with global warming, it still snows sometimes and it's absolutely gorgeous.

My cat: he'll follow anything with a tail (ribbon, string, shoelace, the cord from the phone charger)

Afternoon tea (get a whole new appreciation for the brew and its herbal associates at www.teagarden.com)

Watching a movie in the middle of the day, either at a theater or in bed under the covers

Having breakfast for dinner (my menu: Scrambled Tofu [I used Fantastic Foods Tofu Scrambler mix], toasted spelt English muffins with flax oil and all-fruit jam, grilled veggie-Canadian-bacon [Yves is a good brand, at natural foods stores], and fresh o.j. Yum.)

A hot bath with Dr. Kneipp's bath oils---there's an array to choose from if I want to relax, perk up, feel less stiff or sore, or clear my nasal passages and my thinking.

Charmed Monday Minute- 12/10/07

An amazing adventure...

Hi, everybody. U-Haul has as their slogan "Adventures in Moving" and, heaven knows, I've had an adventure. I did the move from New York City to Woodstock on my own. I figured William was in so much grief over the death of his son that he would not do well with the stress of moving so I bought him a nonrefundable ticket to visit his mom in Kansas so he couldn't say no. Then I proceeded to pack, transport, uproot, redecorate, and reestablish our domestic life.

I had some terrific packing help in NYC from a wonderful professional organizer named Liani Greaves. If you're in the NYC area and in need of establishing some order, I highly recommend her. You can reach her by phone at 917-561-9814. On the day of the Big Move, however, everything went wrong. I hired movers from craigslist---major mistake. For starters, they were six hours late. For finishers, although they advertised themselves as legitimate movers, they weren't. They were instead some guys in the restaurant business in Albany looking to make a buck when their truck is in New York City. Big problem: small truck. They ended up having to make two runs and charging me double.

And after all that, they forgot our clothes. No kidding: on the second run when they were by themselves, they didn't look in closets and I realized that all my business clothes and all my husband's suits and sports jackets and overcoats were in garment bags back in Manhattan - 2 ½ hours away. The moving guy promised he'd pick them up on Monday. He didn't. I ended up driving there myself Tuesday morning. It was rough: I was not ready to see the city only four days after leaving it. I cried so hard in front of my old building that the morning doorman, a devout Muslim who would never ordinarily touch a woman who wasn't his wife, felt so bad that he hugged me!

There were also snags of every sort on the apartment. The painter was skilled but went well over budget. The movers managed to lock my desk (I didn't know it had a lock and I certainly had no key) so I had to call a locksmith. The electrical outlets in my husband's office weren't grounded so I had to bring in an electrician. The windows are odd sized so getting shades and blinds was trying. The Roadrunner cable still doesn't work for our Internet (Dear Verizon: You cost a lot but we're coming back...) and the TV cable doesn't work at all. And yet, with every day and every challenge I felt stronger and more up to the job. I had to create a warm, welcoming home for William, no matter what. As I result, I matted pictures, hung curtains, painted woodwork, and did a host of other things I've never done and always said were outside my area of interest or expertise. The way I feel today: I can do just about anything. I guess that's what the word empowerment is about.

You know what I thought of through this time?---those military recruitment commercials that basically say, "Give us your scrawny, good-for-nothing kid and we'll give you back a soldier." Ten days ago I was, figuratively, the scrawny kid. Now I'm strong and brave in a way I wasn't before. Who knew they held boot camp at Home Depot?

Anyway, we're settled in. I created a shrine for James with a piece of his original artwork, his photograph, one of his school awards, and the crucifix from his memorial service. The picture of him is on a little table with a cubby where all the sympathy cards (thanks for sending them) are in a special box. On one side is a framed print of the angel Raphael and on the other a matted cover of the latest Harry Potter book, James's favorite. Other special parts of our new digs are two closets and the laundry room, painted a luscious red---perfect feng shui. One of the closets (mine) is the prosperity section of the apartment and totally magical, with a little hallway leading to it, stars on the walls, and magic in the air. Bobby, our cat, loves it here---he has birds to watch and great views from all these second floor windows. Siân and Erik, William's 21-year-old daughter and 20-year-old son, are here from Toronto for a few days, and Adair and Nick and the two dogs are coming for Christmas. It all feels very much a home, at least for the time being. I see New York City in movies and all and can't bear to think that I could conceivably not live there again, but for now this is sweet, and now is what I've got. I've also found a place to write---two actually. Daily Bread is a café just across the street from us that opens early and where I can write all morning. If I need an afternoon spot as well, there's a coffee bar and comfy lounge above a restaurant called Joshua's four or five blocks up. I was there today and talked to someone else with a laptop. Turns out he's writing his dissertation for a Ph.D. in religion from Columbia. He and his wife and baby have only lived here two weeks, so as fellow newbies and people interested in religion and spirituality, I hope we'll become friends. Enough of me. I hope you're having a lovely December. Happy Hanukkah and happy Advent and happy right-now-this-minute. Victoria Speaking of friends... A couple of months ago I mentioned a wonderful Tarot reader, Roy Sorrels. Some of you contacted him for readings and I've gotten so much positive feedback, Roy is offering a fee-reduced holiday-season special for anyone who would like a reading, either in person in New York City or by phone wherever you are. For information about Roy's work and to discuss booking a reading at 20% off, you can email him at RoySorrels2@aol.com or call him at 646-637-4576.

Thoughts on A Simpler Life... I wrote this a couple of months ago as I anticipated this move. Maybe you can relate: I want a life with less stuff in it - fewer books I don't read, fewer clothes I don't wear, less mail and less paper; fewer to-do list items that don't make my heart sing. I want everything in my home to either do something or mean something. I intend to travel less - only for real fun or real money. I want less email and the nerve to not answer it if I don't feel like it, and maybe not even open it if I don't feel like that. I want a clearer calendar and shorter tax return. I look forward to divesting from my wardrobe any garment that has "sweat" as its first syllable. I relish knowing less about Britney and more about me. I crave the chance to do more work that matters and less that spins my wheels. I want days to be longer so I don't have to choose between mediation and writing in my journal, or between yoga and Pilates, my husband and my daughter. Long days would mean cooking dinner from scratch and writing my books in pen. Days like that would put empty spaces in my life so if something wonderful showed up, there would be room for her sit. I want more time to spend with my dog. (If I had the time, I'd get the dog.) I want to live in the day I'm given and stop defusing miracles by needing them so much. I want to spend more time with the people I love and the ones I find interesting. I yearn to immerse myself in the sacred and be choosy about the profane. I choose to live my life now and never again strive to reach a goal unless I should happen to take up hockey. Christmas cooking... I hear people say sometimes, "I could do without the turkey. It's the stuffing I'd miss." I've been vegetarian since before they held that concert in my new home town, and I have often had to suffer through a stuffing-less holiday season. We serve our stuffing (or stuffings -- we often do one with bread and one rice, depending on how many diners will be around the table) with either a nut loaf or one of the turkey alternatives now on the market ("Tofurky" and the others, available at natural foods stores), a fresh green salad, string bean casserole with cashew white sauce, a simple sweet potato dish, and either pumpkin or apple pie as a belated dessert. Here's a stuffing recipe I like. It's from The Compassionate Cook: More Than 200 Delicious Vegan Recipes, by Ingrid Newkirk: Harvest Stuffing 1 cup shredded carrots 1 cup diced celery 1/2-1 cup diced onion 1/4 cup margarine (choose one with no trans-fats) 1 tsp. poultry seasoning 1/4 teaspoon pepper 1/2-1 tsp. salt 8 cups dry bread cubes 2 apples, peeled and finely chopped 1/2 cup chopped walnuts 1 1/2 cups water or vegetable broth Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Melt margarine in large skillet over medium heat. Cook carrots, celery, and onion until tender, about 10 minutes. Stir in the poultry seasoning, pepper, and salt. In a bowl, combine the bread cubes, apples, and walnuts, then add the carrot mixture. Add enough water or broth to moisten, tossing lightly. Transfer to a 2 1/2-quart casserole dish, cover, band bake for 20-30 minutes. Serves 8 to 10. Preparation time: 30 minutes. Baking time: 20-30 minutes.

Tuning into my Internet radio program, A Charmed Life, on www.healthylife.net... Some people have had some difficulties accessing the show which airs live on the 4th Wednesday of every month and is archived forevermore. One of the people who couldn't hear the show was my November guest Judy Goldberg, a certified flower essences practitioner. Linda MacKenzie from HealthyLife.net walked her through it and here are the instructions for you: Hi Judy, Victoria forwarded your message to me. Let me see if I can help. To get to our main site log on to http://www.healthylife.net which gets you to our home page...then: 1- If you want to hear a live show - double click the blue "Listen Live" button at the top and whatever show is on plays automatically. 2- If you want to hear an archive show - click on the archive button located at the top of our home page near the Listen Live button called "Archives." Scroll down to Men, Woman & Family Issues and directly beneath this you will find Victoria Moran's name. Click on her name and that will bring you to her archived show page. Then merely select the show you would like to hear and click on it and it will automatically play. Windows Media Player is required and if you don't have it you can download it free at the top of our home page above the "Listen Live" button on top upper right of the home page. It does take a day or two after the show is aired before we archive it. Although there should not be any trouble to listen to our programs (unless you have a Mac - they can be finicky) but if you do have trouble listening click our "Trouble Listening" link in the left hand column to find out what to do. We even cover those finicky Macs. (Note from Victoria: I have a Mac and never before believed I could love a computer. Different strokes.... Anyway, please tell me (1) if you listen to the show; (2) if you have trouble accessing it. I will do something different if people can't hear this. Thanks.) I'm on BeliefNet! I am honored and privileged to have some work of mine featured on BeliefNet.com, the premier site on the net for spirituality and religions. Here is the link to my latest piece, "10 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach." New Internet Radio Show: You can listen to my internet radio show on HealthyLife.net from noon to 1pm EST every 4th Wednesday of the month. The last show was wonderful, featuring my action partner and opera-singer-extraordinaire, Sherry Boone. Check it out in the archives here. (Trouble listening? Click here for the site's help page.)

Victoria, Virtual Life Coach! Victoria is now the official Life Coach of the blog "Elastic Waist" and will be featured a few times a month in exclusive interviews! To view the first post, click here. The second is here. Enjoy! OprahSelects.com: Fat, Broke & Lonely No More was picked for OprahSelects.com since Victoria was a guest on the Jean Chatzky Show on Oprah & Friends Radio. If you go to the page, you can write a reader review if you'd like.

Quotation of the Week: "I pray thee, God, make me beautiful on the inside." -- Socrates

WHERE I'LL BE...

TOPEKA, KS: January 6, Sunday, 11 a.m., Sunday service, "The God-Shaped Hole," book signing to follow; Unity Church of Christianity, 9126 SW Tenth Ave., www.wingsunfolding.com

KANSAS CITY, MO: January 13, Sunday, 9 and 10:30 a.m. Sunday services, "The God-Shaped Hole," book signing to follow; Center for Spiritual Living, 1306 W. 39th St., 816/931-2395, www.cslkc.org

NEW YORK CITY: January 15, Tuesday, The Learning Annex , workshop entitled "How to Have a More Spiritual Life"