Monday, April 23, 2007

Charmed Monday Minute, April 23

Hi, everyone -

I love April 23rd. For one thing, it's Shakespeare's birthday (well, his supposed birthday: he was christened on April 26th, and that was traditionally done at three days of age). It was also---and this is for certain---the birthday of Adelene DeSoto, my beloved "Dede," who was a third parent for me and is more responsible than any other single person for the work I do today. Wherever you are, Dede---and I know it's somewhere splendid---I love you with all my heart and I appreciate all that you gave me more every day.

The Minute is going out a bit late today since I just returned from a lovely date from with lovely daughter, followed by a huge dose of inspiration at the Matrix Awards Luncheon put on by New York Women in Communications. There was an amazing amount of womanpower in that room. Among the award recipients and presenters were Hillary Clinton, Pamela Fiori, Martha Stewart, Joan Didion, Nora Ephron, and (not a woman but someone with a lot of power) Rupert Murdoch. Although I often disagree with his positions, he does own HarperCollins and they keep publishing my books, so I am grateful. Looking up at the glittering dais and seeing him seated adjacent to Martha Stewart, I was thinking, "Boss and former boss. Not bad." You can read more about this annual event if you'd like at

Also last week (busy week), William came back from the country for two-and-a-half days so we could attend the Humane Society of the United States Litigation Awards. That was such a heartwarming evening. So many attorneys around the country volunteer their time to help the most powerless members of our society, the animals. Their most recent success was in finding existing law that led to the closure of the last three horse slaughterhouses in the US. Now horses sold at auction or by individuals will not get into the hands of people who intend to kill them. In one way, it's a drop in an endless sea, but for those horses, it's everything.

William is doing great. He's finished the screenplay he went away to write and it looks as if it's going to get into the hands of some people who, if they like it, may be able to make this happen. The movie business is so tough---it makes the book business look like Sunday School---so if this is his break, I am beyond overjoyed. In addition, he's roughed out yet another screenplay, this one a children's movie, and it's looking terrific, too.

You know, I write books and do coaching to help people, mostly other women, go for their dreams, and it is very gratifying to see this man that I love so much going for his. He read the manuscript of Fat, Broke & Lonely No More on the train ride to the Finger Lakes Region where he's doing his writer's retreat, and he said, "You ask in the book what people loved to do before they were seven, and to take that as an indication of their mission. When I was that young---and my mom may have told you this---I spent hours lining up my toy soldiers and creating stories about them. I've always been a storyteller, even though all these years have come in between." Wow. That was a heart-warmer.

Thanks for sharing a little of your Monday (or Tuesday---like I said, this is late) with me. I appreciate you a lot.

My very best,


The helpful people at Barnes & Noble have come through again in support of my work. They've given me the best venue in New York City for my book launch and I am so appreciative. Here's the scoop:

Monday, June 4, 7 p.m.
Barnes & Noble Lincoln Triangle (66th & Broadway)
Presentation & Signing, plus Broadway star Sherry Boone, premiering her new song "We Are."

This is going to be such a terrific event - I can just feel it. Please save the date.

I wish I could bring Sherry Boone all over the country with me. She is an incredible talent and she's also an important part of Fat, Broke & Lonely No More in that we're "action partners" for one another. I have a whole chapter in the book called "One Other Person Has to Be In on This" that's inspired by my relationship with Sherry. We talk almost every day and turn over what we need to do to get a little closer to our dreams and to be of greater service to the world. If you can come on the 4th, you'll love meeting Sherry. If you're elsewhere in the world, you can "meet" her in the pages of Fat, Broke & Lonely No More.

Book Preview:

I'm getting more and more excited about the debut of Fat, Broke & Lonely No More. Joya sent out postcards today to everyone who's volunteered to be a book godparent and help spread the word. If you'd like to join that group, just email Joya at In any case, it is my pleasure and delight to give you the first-ever-anywhere preview of the new book. Here is the Introduction. I hope you like it.


As the reader of this book you deserve to be in on how it came about. My editor called and said, "We've been playing with a title we really like but we didn't know who could write it. Then it occurred to me: You could write it!" I loved that he'd thought of me to take on this title, surely something graceful and gracious, beautiful and uplifting. "Fat, Broke and Lonely!" he announced enthusiastically. I felt as if I'd been punched.

You see, I've been fat, broke and lonely, and I don't like these words---especially "fat" because I was hurt the most by that one. I haven't been overweight in more than twenty years, but I am still well aware that fat isn't a mere synonym for overweight. In our society, fat is a somatic epithet, a judgment, and a weapon. To this day, when I know that someone else has been stung by the word, I flinch with them. Broke and lonely are less piercing but scarcely more appealing. The three together paint a picture no one wants to see. Nevertheless, before I could say, "I wouldn't write a book called that in a million years," I remembered something: Although I have been fat, broke and lonely, I'm not anymore and I haven't been for some time.

This is how I see it today: there is shared responsibility for the problem. The giant corporations that produce much of our food and the planning commissions that decide to build developments without sidewalks do play a role in our collective fatness. The advertisers who adroitly convince us that we ought to be able to buy everything they're peddling, and still come up with the money for the next status symbol or must-have toy, are far from blameless for the debt pandemic. Living in a society short on the extended families and close communities that human beings have depended on since before we walked upright is undeniably part of the reason that so many of us feel lonely and disconnected.

Knowing this, you deserve to take a minute (or as long as you need) to feel righteously outraged at a culture that makes it so easy to be fat, broke and lonely. When you're finished, though, it's still up to you to find a way out.

As someone who's done that, I figured my editor had a point: I'm supposed to share what I know with people who want it. This includes individuals who might describe themselves as fat and/or broke and/or lonely, and the many others who are just so afraid of ending up there that they run themselves ragged at the gym, on the job, and in their relationships. They're operating under the logical assumption that a perfect person can't possibly be fat, broke and lonely, so doing everything perfectly has to be the best cover. But after the killer workout, the plum assignment, and the dream date, the fear of becoming fat, broke and lonely hasn't gone anywhere.

Obviously, I said I'd write the book. We tweaked the title to Fat, Broke & Lonely No More. Being able to say "No more!"---and mean it---in your own life has less to do with food or money or the people who are (or are not) sending you text-messages than it does about you, on the inside. Your core beliefs. What you want for yourself. Your spirituality.

Don't blow this off as New Age mumbo-jumbo or the sole purview of the baptized, born again, or bat-mitzvahed. It's simply understanding that there is more going on here than our five senses can fathom, that you're more remarkable than you may have thought, and that you have some control, via your thoughts, words, and attitude, over how you experience life. For example, when you focus on fat, broke and lonely, that's what shows up: "I'm fat and disgusting: I need to eat something... I'll never have enough money: I need to buy something... I'll never meet the right person: I need to call what's-his-name. I mean, he only had that one DUI and something could have been wrong with the Breathalyzer...." I wrote Fat, Broke & Lonely No More to help you part company with this plague once and for all. For this to work, you'll have to put what you read about into practice. Every chapter ends with the directive, "Take an action." Your actions, far more than my words, will make the difference. Your actions will give you access to the missing ingredient that, like caulk or Hamburger Helper, can fill the empty places. With it, there's always enough, and this sufficiency feels like a banquet. Or a trust fund. Or a standing ovation.

COUNTDOWN TO VICTORIA'S NEW, 10th, and (we're hearing!) BEST BOOK EVER,

Fat, Broke & Lonely No More: Your Personal Solution to Overeating, Overspending, and Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

coming from HarperOne on June 1, 2007

...5 weeks and 4 days!

If you'd like to pre-order online, here are links to the big guys:
Barnes & Noble

Or, call your favorite independent bookstore to reserve your copy!

(To find an independent bookstore in your area, you can search on here.)

Monday, April 16, 2007

Charmed Monday Minute, April 16

Hi, everybody and welcome to new readers . . .

We're in the midst of a lot of rain here in New York - probably the same rain everybody has had this past week. I am grateful for an oversized umbrella and red rubber boots.

The event on Saturday, the Law of Attraction Seminar, was wonderful. I was on the program with several amazing speakers (see last week's "Minute" for details - you can access it on my blog). One gentleman who really impressed me was composer and conductor David Friedman who has a life-changing approaching called "The Thought Exchange" - a place within yourself where you go to trade in a thought that isn't working in your life for one that does. I bought his CD "Listen to My Heart" which includes the well-known comic song "Rich, Famous and Powerful." I'm ripping the CD now for treadmill inspiration.

I also spoke for a lovely group of women (and one brave guy) at ING Bank last week, and I did the "Body & Soul" show on my old alma mater, Martha Stewart Living Radio, Sirius 112. The other guest was Golden Girl Rue McClanahan, talking about her new book My First Five Husbands: And the Ones that Got Away. What a delightful woman! She is such an inspiration. She'll be in NYC tomorrow signing books at the Union Square Barnes & Noble, and I just might get myself over there.

William has been gone for just over two weeks, working on a screenplay in the far upstate of Upstate New York. He'll be back Thursday to attend with me the 2006 Animal Protection Litigation Awards sponsored by the Humane Society of the US and, and he'll go back Saturday to seek more inspiration in the woods. I'm missing him terribly, but I'm so happy he's giving himself this opportunity to pursue what he loves and is so good at.

I trust that YOU are also pursuing what you love and what you're good at. Enjoy.

All the best,

Info of the Week: "The Nutrient Density Line"

This comes from one of the best books on nutrition ever written, in my humble opinion: The Eat to Live Diet by Joel Fuhrman, MD. With all the controversy out there about what to eat, this is a simple way to see how to get more bang for your buck or, in this case, the most identified phytochemicals, antioxidant activity, and total vitamin and mineral content per calorie.

Quoted from The Eat to Live Diet:

Highest nutrient density = 100 points -- Lowest nutrient density = 0

100 - Raw leafy green vegetables (darker green has more nutrients) - e.g., romaine, leaf lettuces, kale, spinach, parsley

97 - Solid green vegetables (raw or steamed, fresh or frozen) - e.g., artichokes, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, cucumbers, peas, string beans, zucchini

50 - Non-green non-starch vegetables - e.g., beets, onions tomatoes, yellow and red peppers, bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, cauliflower

48 - Beans/legumes (cooked, canned, or sprouted) - e.g., red kidney beans, chickpeas, pinto beans, soybeans, lentils, lima beans

45 - Fresh fruits - e.g., apples, apricots, bananas, berries, citrus, melons, mangoes, pears, peaches, pineapples, plums

35 - Starchy vegetables - e.g., potatoes, yams, butternut squash, acorn squash, parsnips, pumpkins, turnips, sweet corn, carrots, chestnuts

22 - Whole grains - e.g., barley, buckwheat, millet, oats, brown rice, wild rice

20 - Raw nuts and seeds - almonds, cashews, macadamias, pecans, pine nuts, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds

15 - Fish

13 - Fat-free dairy products

11 - Eggs; wild meat and poultry

8 - Red meat

4 - Full-fat dairy products

3 - Cheese

2 - Refined grains (i.e., white flour)

1 - Refined oils

0 - Refined sweets

(I keep this stuck to my fridge with an I-heart-NY magnet.)


Marianne in Denmark, one of our readers, wrote to let me know about a wonderful organization last week...

About 2 million girls a year experience Female Genital Mutilation, many more are forced into early marriage, and tens of millions are forced to seek refuge from armed conflict and gender based violence.

Give a Girl a Chance (a project of Feminenza) provides financial assistance to help pay for education and contributes significantly towards the cost of the girls' rehabilitation, mentoring and development. Check out their website for more information!

COUNTDOWN TO VICTORIA'S NEW, 10th, and (we're hearing!) BEST BOOK EVER,

Fat, Broke & Lonely No More: Your Personal Solution to Overeating, Overspending, and Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

coming from HarperOne on June 1, 2007

...6 weeks and 4 days!

If you'd like to pre-order online, here are links to the big guys:
Barnes & Noble

Or, call your favorite independent bookstore to reserve your copy!

(To find an independent bookstore in your area, you can search on here.)

Happy week, all!

My very best,

Victoria Moran

Monday, April 09, 2007

Charmed Monday Minute- April 9

Greetings from my 17th floor lookout here in New York City. Life has been fun and fascinating this week. William (my husband) is upstate in the Finger Lakes region near Syracuse doing his regular work and working on a screenplay. The movie has a farm animal in it (that’s all he’ll let me say) so he wanted to be near Farm Sanctuary so he can actually spend some time with animals. It’s wonderful to know that he up there writing and saying yes to a dream.

Speaking of Farm Sanctuary, I attended a benefit for them on Saturday night at Jivamukti Yoga downtown. Jivamukti is such an uplifting place. Russell Simmons was guest speaker and other luminaries included Gloria Steinem whom I was fortunate enough to meet. What a charming woman! The food was wonderful, delicacies from NYC restaurants including Candle 79 (where my daughter’s rehearsal dinner was held), Counter, and Angelica’s Kitchen. There were also some luscious desserts---Soy Delicious Purely Decadent non-dairy frozen dessert, and Nana’s cookies---vegan, fruit-juice-sweetened, and there’s a gluten-free line available (

Things are moving along for the new book. HarperOne (Harper San Francisco changed its name) has engaged a wonderful publicist, Tom Martin, who believes in the book and practices the Law of Attraction. I feel so blessed to have such a terrific person added to the team.

And speaking of additions, a speaking engagement—two, actually-- have been added since the last Minute. They’re in my hometown of Kansas City, Missouri: June 24, 11 a.m., Sunday service, Unity Temple on the Plaza, 47th & Jefferson Sts., and on Monday, June 25, 7 p.m., a Cornerstone Foundation lecture co-sponsored by Rainy Day Books, also held at Unity on the Plaza. For information, contact Christine Garvey, 816-561-4466, ext. 109.

Have a great week, everyone – Victoria


Not on Our Watch: The Mission to End Genocide in Darfur and Beyond, by Don Cheadle and John Prendergast, foreword by Elie Wiesel, introduction by Senator Barack Obama and Senator Sam Brownback; a portion of proceeds donated to ENOUGH, the project to abolish genocide and mass atrocities ( This much needed book by Academy Award-nominated actor Cheadle, and Pendergast, a senior advisor of the International Crisis Group, lays out a 6-action plan individuals can implement to make a huge difference in the fat of the people of Darfur and other crises zones. There are: Raise Awareness. Raise Funds. Write a Letter. Call for Divestment. Join an Organization. Lobby the Government. Every chapter begins with a quotation, and this one really spoke to me as I read the book: “Thous shall not stand idly by the shedding of the blood of thy fellow man.” – Leviticus 19:16


Here's some great advice from Susan Newman, author of The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever

Harness the Power of NO & Take Back Your Life

If you’re like most people, when someone asks you to do them a favor or requests your help, you say yes when you really mean NO. Within minutes you probably feel stressed, depressed, resentful, or angry with yourself or with the person who’s imposing on you.

Saying NO helps you be in charge of your life and stay focused. It’s a learned skill that transforms how you think about requests and puts an end to excessive people-pleasing and those diversions that keep you from leading the life you want.

The five steps below from The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It—and Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever will hone your ability to turn down those who take advantage of your good nature. As soon as you begin to apply them, you will start to feel justified saying NO and will do so without offending and without feeling guilty. You won’t be able to say NO to everything asked of you, nor will you want to, but you don’t have to be an ever-accommodating yes-person to be loved, respected, and admired. And, possibly for the first time in years, you’ll stop feeling over-extended, overworked, and overwhelmed.

Stepping into NO—The Basics

1. Make a list of your yeses over the period of a week
If you are an inveterate yes-person, the number will shock you. The acceptable number will be different for everyone. One request could send you into a tailspin, while it might take four or more to set off someone else. Any negative reaction—Why did I agree? What was I thinking? What am I doing? I don’t want to be available; I would rather be elsewhere—is the true measure.

2. Pay attention to how you parcel out your time.
If most of your time is monopolized assisting one friend, family member or meeting job demands, what’s left over for you or your goals? When your time is well managed, you’ll keep some in reserve for what’s most important to you.

3. Get your priorities straight.
Who has first crack at you without your feeling burdened or anxious? A child? A boyfriend? A girlfriend? Your spouse? Your boss?

4. Know your limits—start to define
them if you don’t know what they are. They can be emotional or physical or both, but there’s a point at which your line is crossed. How much of other people’s problems can you tolerate without feeling drained? How long are you willing to put up with one-way friendships with you always on the giving end? On the physical side, when does your stamina give out? To stay healthy your body and mind require rest to rejuvenate, and if you don’t set limits you won’t get it.

5. Give control to others to ease your responsibilities.
When you don’t trust others to be in charge or to get things accomplished, you wind up agreeing to and doing far more than your share of what someone else could be doing. Eliminating the need to run things yourself to be sure they turn out the way you like them relieves much of the pressure you put on yourself.

Begin Flexing Your NO Muscle

Following these steps will help you exercise your right to say NO and strengthen your boundaries against the barrage of unwanted distractions and commitments. You’ll begin to think NO, before you blurt out, “Yes, sure, no problem; I’ll do that for you.” And, when you do, you’ll find you move closer to your goals and the charmed life that always seems just out of reach.

For specific tips, your rights, and words to use, go to:


Oops! On the list of events where Victoria will be speaking, there was a typo. Here is the correct name and address for the bookstore hosting the event in Portland, OR on June 9th at 7:30pm:

Twenty-Third Avenue Books
1015 NW 23rd Avenue
Portland, OR 97210
Tel: 503-224-5097


Camille Maurine (author of Meditation Secrets for Women: Discovering Your Passion, Pleasure, and Inner Peace, and Meditation 24/7: Practices to Enlighten Every Moment of the Day) will be offering a workshop in Ithaca, NY this July: MEDITATION SECRETS FOR WOMEN.

For more information about Camille's work or this event, you can check out her website.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Charmed Monday Minute, April 2

Happy April, everyone, and welcome to new readers...

I’m in the midst of preparing for the launch of the new book, Fat, Broke & Lonely No More, and I’ll let you know as developments, well, develop! (Next week there’ll be a “Nibble of the Week” and I’ll put the Introduction in the newsletter.)

Thanks to everyone who volunteered to help in getting the word out on the book. My assistant Joya is still accepting names of people who are willing to help in large and small ways (inviting me to their town and hosting a party [that’s really large!], putting something on their website or in their blog, passing out postcards about the book, etc.). If you’d like to be one of these “godparents to a book” please email Joya at

Lots of exciting things have been happening for me. I went to a documentary, Czech Dream, about the creation of a fictional hypermart in Czech Republic, at the Independent Film Center in Greenwich Village. Michael Moore was to be there to provide some commentary. Some of you know that Mr. Moore loved my book Fit from Within and wrote a glowing review of it when he was celebrity book reviewer one month for O, the Oprah Magazine. Well, on my way to the concession stand to be a good wife and get William his de rigeur Diet-Coke-for-the-movie, there was Michael Moore in the theater lobby. I introduced myself and he said, “I can’t believe I’m meeting you: I keep your book by my bed! And look how well I’m doing” (and he is: he’s lost lots and lots of weight since the last time I saw him on TV). It was such a surreal experience. I was the one who couldn’t believe I was meeting him, and he was saying all these nice things. Anyway, it was a wonderful meeting. His next film is called Sicko, an expose on health care in America.

Dr. Neal Barnard ( was in New York last week on tour with his latest book, Dr. Neal Barnard’s Program for Reversing Diabetes: The Scientifically Proven System for Reversing Diabetes without Drugs. It’s an exciting approach to the prevention---and in many cases, reversal---of Type II diabetes. And it’s an easy-to-follow program. Dr. Barnard is so dedicated. He’s traipsing around the country going to some 40 cities to get the word out. And he was gracious enough to have dinner after his signing with William and me at Counter, a lovely (albeit noisy) East Village eatery, vegetarian and mostly vegan, with the largest organic wines and spirits menu in the city. (As a nondrinker, I didn’t know there were organic spirits. Life is filled with learning experiences!)

And a major high point since last week was shooting a short film for Fat, Broke & Lonely No More. We shot in my apartment from 10 to 6:30, although the actual film will only be 2 to 3 minutes long. It will be ready mid-April and we’ll put it on YouTube, YahooMovies, etc., on my site, maybe the HarperCollins site, and if you would like to post it on your website or blog, just let Joya know. In addition (if it’s good: please, God, may it be good...) it will go out in the press packages and I’ll show it when I do book signings. The format is a workshop with five attendees (one is my daughter Adair). I so have my fingers crossed that it will be a dandy little movie with a couple of truly helpful tips for people.

I know there are other things to cover in this “Minute” since Joya has been on vacation and things have piled up, so I’ll close this part and wish you all that between now and next Monday, you’ll have a whole list of blessings to add up.

-- Victoria

If you're near St. Charles, Illinois...

A reader in this western suburb of the Windy City is looking for other women in her area for the possibility of forming a study group around my books and similar topics. If that sounds good to you, email Cindy at

Where I’ll be:

Speaking of geography, we’re just in the beginning stages of booking cities for the Fat, Broke & Lonely tour, but here are some places and dates scheduled so far:

April 14 – New York City, “Law of Attraction” seminar,

May 7 – Fargo, ND – First Lady’s Women’s Health Summit,, 800-773-7583

May 10 – Merrillville, IN – Speaking of Women’s Health,

June 9 – Portland, OR, 23rd St. Books, 7:30 p.m., 503-224-5097

June 10 – Lake Oswego, OR – Unity World Healing Center, Sunday service,, 503-697-9765

June 16 – Marin County, CA – Book Passage, 4 p.m., 415-927-0960

June 17 – Unity of Palo Alto, Sunday service,, 650-494-7222

June 18 – San Francisco, The Learning Annex, 6:45-9:30,, 415-788-5500

June 20 – Newport Beach, CA, professional women’s group, email for details

July 1 – New York City, Unity of New York, Sunday service,, 212-560-0756

July 14-15 – Shreveport, LA, Pulpwood Queens International Book Club Author Extravaganza,

August 17-18 – Neversink, NY, New Age Health Spa,, 800-682-4348

September 30 – Providence, RI, Community Church of Providence, Sunday service, 401-751-9328

Healthy eating tip of the week:

If you really want it, have it. I’m not talking about a box of Oreos with some Twinkies on the side, but if you really want the pasta instead of the salmon, the sautéed broccoli instead of the steamed stuff, the latte instead of the black coffee (as long as the latte isn’t venti), enjoy. The reason: when you really want something, you’ll get satisfaction from the first taste. Maybe you won’t even need to finish it, but even if you do, it will hit the spot and you’ll go on to other, non-edible adventures. If you try to talk yourself out of what you want and substitute what you think you “should” have, you’ll eat every molecule of it trying to get a sense of satiety that just won’t come. And you may end up going for the Oreos and the Twinkies.

A movie to watch and a fun book to read:

My colleague Daylle Deanna Schwartz (you may know her from her Oprah-featured book All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise – don’t worry, guys, it’s just an in-your-face title...’seems we all have one...) has a new book out that every single woman (and many not-single women who just want to understand men better) will want to read: Straight Talk with Gay Guys: What Girlfriends Can’t Tell You and Straight Men Won’t. In it, she interviews 33 savvy and articulate gay men to get the scoop on what men are really about. And Daylle and her team have made a delightful short movie for YouTube. Watch it here.

FBL cover

COUNTDOWN TO VICTORIA'S NEW, 10th, and (we're hearing!) BEST BOOK EVER,

Fat, Broke & Lonely No More: Your Personal Solution to Overeating, Overspending, and Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

coming from HarperOne on June 1, 2007

...8 weeks and 4 days!

If you’d like to pre-order online, here are links to the big guys:
Barnes & Noble

Or, call your favorite independent bookstore to reserve your copy!

(To find an independent bookstore in your area, you can search on here.)

Happy week, all!

My very best,

Victoria Moran